The Muskoxen

OK, so I was driving to work a couple weeks ago listening to a local radio show that shall remain nameless and the topic was "pre-baby bachelor parties." I listened for a while and the DJ said that "this was all the rage in New York, Atlanta and most of the East Coast." They took callers from various people (mostly stupid women complaining about it) and I never got to hear the end of it because I pulled into the garage at work. I immediately texted Muskoxen Brendan to express my unhappiness. As he said, we doubt we're the first people ever to have this idea (or one similar), but to that point we'd not heard of anyone else doing it. If they were, they weren't broadcasting it. And we had damn sure never heard of a "Man Shower" - we coined that phrase and even got made fun of because of the way it sounds. Once we explained that it's the man's version of a baby shower, people got it, but not after some ridicule. We posted the story of our Man Shower to this very site years ago and now, lo and behold, there are entire websites dedicated to people telling about their Man Showers and we're not getting any credit. This is some BS! I know it sounds like I'm whining here (and to an extent, I am) but seriously, we were the trend setters here, give us our props. My guess is that within a year or two there will be a fucking movie called "The Man Shower" where four childhood friends form a bond over a crazy weekend where they're celebrating their friends first child. Hookers are talked to, drinks are bought, cigars smoked, pop tarts flung from balconies, money won in casinos, boobies, a concert of some sort, drinking, boobies, belligerence, the hilarity practically writes itself, doesn't it? I'm actually fine with that as long as Jack Black doesn't play me - he'll just over-act trying to be as cool as me. Plus, I doubt he can balance the ash on his cigar as well as I can... Maybe Seth Rogen or Jonah Hill can pull it off if they're willing to shave their heads? Ricky Gervais is probably funny/witty enough to pull it off, but the we have the accent thing to contend with and I doubt he'd shave his hair. Hmmm, Kevin James might shave his head, but he'd make a mockery of this - it's much too serious for Kevin James. Actually, if any of the wonderful actors I just mentioned (even Jack Black) is reading this and think it's a good idea, I can have a script done in a matter of days, just let me know. The Muskoxen deserve it. We're visionaries, after all.

My blog posts from 2006 are there to back you up:

http://www.brenandjess.com/blog/various-532.html

http://www.brenandjess.com/blog/home-533.html

I'm thinking that we (The Muskoxen) should really write a movie script loosley based on this and try to submit it before someone else does... but first, we should all pick who we think could play us in the movie. Ideas? I'll open this up to any/everyone.

I think Ethan Embry could play me. I like Kevin James for Keith, but I think that he'd play it all Hitch and ruin the movie. But Danny McBride might make a good Keith. Actually, I think he would be perfect, if a bit tall. Geoff could be played by The New Tom Hanks, Shia LaBoeuf. Or better yet, Hot Rod himself Andy Samberg. Jason Segel would make a great Brendan. The more I think about it, this should be a Judd Apatow production.

It's always shocking when you hear who someone else thinks should play you in the movie of your life. I'd always thought it would be Mr. T.