The Muskoxen

So I finally figured out why I'm fat! It's not because I'm lazy, or because I overeat, or that I drink beer like it's going out of style, or that my diet is worse than a group of first time Weight Watchers meeting participants... it's (are you ready for this?) because I chew too much gum! Don't believe me? Check it out:

http://health.msn.com/weight-loss/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100237729&GT1=31036

If you don't feel like reading all of that, I've taken the liberty of highlighting the important parts (for my purposes, anyway) here:

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