The Muskoxen

So I'm sitting at my desk when I notice a link on the msn webpage that catches my eye.  "12 Workplace Phrases You Probably Don't Know, But Should" - hmmm... interesting, I need to know this information, I'd better click the link:  Have a look for yourself:

http://msn.careerbuilder.com/Article/MSN-1917-Workplace-Issues-12-Workplace-Phrases-You-Probably-Dont-Know-But-Should/?cbsid=708c5a9d672d4c99b8b17ccb56b8e19a-298990363-VO-4&sc_extcmp=JS_1917_home1&cbRecursionCnt=2&SiteId=cbmsnhp41917&ArticleID=1917>1=23000

As I'm reading the "must know phrases" it hit me just how ridiculous they all are.  It also hit me that there is a lot of covert racism strewn throughout these corporate buzz words.  All of these phrases/buzz words are guilty, but I'll just point out a few of the more obvious ones here:

Drink the Kool-Aid I feel that this statement is blatantly racist. I bet it's "red" flavored Kool-Aid too, which is definitely racist. Or maybe grape.  Either way, it's wrong.  Why isn't it "Drink the Tang"?  You wanna know why?  It's because only white people drink Tang.  Anyway, I have no idea why drinking Kool-Aid correlates to following blindly or being brainwashed...  I think it goes back to the slave mentality.

Going native This one is particularly perplexing because it really doesn't relate to office work in the least. It's just some shithead's "witty" spin on something stupid. So if you take a permanent job you're "going native", but if you are a temp, you're considered what?  A foreigner? (Not to be confused with Foreigner, the British-American rock band who sang I want To Know What Love Is).  And that's supposedly a bad thing? What's wrong with being a foreigner? If it weren't for foreigners this great nation of ours wouldn't exist. And we wouldn't have such wonderful things as beer, pizza, bratwurst, pornography or maize.

Greenfield instance I don't think its happenstance (I hate this word, too, for what it's worth) that they use the word "green" in a phrase talking about software installation, configuration, and code changes. Think about it: the majority of computer programmers are of Asian descent, right? Right - that's a fact. And what do they need to work here?   You got it: a green card. Green card... Greenfield. Green field.. rice field. Think about it.

Holistic Holistic looks a lot like Holocaustic, doesn't it? A "big picture view" - didn't Hitler have one of those? Seriously folks, this is getting scary. What I found most impressive about this entry was the fact that the author doesn't even REALLY know what it means (admitted such in the article) but they felt the need to say that they still use it a lot. WTF?

Paradigm Paradigm is another buzz word that's not buzz worthy. Besides, if you knew the etymology of the word you wouldn't WANT to use it. What does paradigm sound like to you? Break it down: par-a-digm... pair of dimes, right? Not too much of a stretch there. Seems innocuous enough, right? But what does it really mean? I'll tell you. A "pair of dimes" is what slave owners used to say a good slave was worth. In typical hip hop form, they've taken this negative connotation and flipped it: now having a pair of dimes means having a banging bitch on each one of your arms. See that? They flipped the paradigm on the word paradigm. Clever, huh?

Running in parallel
The definition of this statement is rife with references to the Holocaust.  Check it out: "When a client (a person of Jewish ancestry) is feeling particularly paranoid about a new system that his consultants have developed or implemented (not hard to figure out why they were paranoid...), even after exhaustive testing and training, we will sometimes recommend running the new system in parallel  (lines, anyone?  Lines for the gas chamber, perhaps?) with the old (or elderly...) for a short period. (that's all it took, unfortunately)"

Wireframe
I don't think it's an accident that a wireframe uses simple pictures, intended obviously for the simpleminded.  Slave owners used chicken wire to corral slaves... slaves who were perceived to be slow, ignorant.... simpleminded.   Chicken wire,,, wire frame... simple pictures, simpleminded. 

White paper Really? White papers have all the answers, huh? Fancy that. An "authoritative report" ... right, because everything white has to be authoritative. Need I go further?   Corporate Amerikkka is going crazy.  The facts are here people, use your brains!  They're trying to brainwash us by telling us that we MUST use catch phrases with obvious racist connotations!  I, for one, will not use any of these catch phrases - ever.  I suggest you do the same.  If not for me, do it in homage to the Emancipation Proclamation.